sabato 25 febbraio 2012

Office emails: what you really mean

When emailing for work, we all like to be polite. Words cost nothing and business English offers certain neat expressions which are ready made and easy to use. But what to they really mean?

Happy to discuss! - I would rather not discuss this at all, cause I don't want piles more of work

Great! - can mean anything, from "good work" to "awful but too polite to tell you. Will fire you anyways in a few months"

Excellent! - same as great but more elegant and British

Thank you in advance for your collaboration - just move your ass and to what I asked asap

Thank you very much for all your efforts - it was really hard to pull this together, and result is barely sufficient, but whatever.

Dear XX, hope all is well - I couldn't care less, but I didn't know how to start

Thank you very much for your work on this! - at the beginning of a message it is the introduction to a series of nerve-wracking critiques

Don't hesitate to get back to me in case you have any questions - I really hope you don't get back to me, ever, cause I don't have time to deal with your silly questions.

Thank you - can mean anything, goes well with anything. No need to save up on these.